what have you become .....

here you are
standing soaked in the rain
trying to preserve your soul
not realising its already been flooded
flooded with empty promises, dreams
that once sparked a revolution
between the heart and the soul
none emerging the winner.
you look away to the horizon
tell me what you see.
do you see the winning soldier
at the end of the day retreating into the sky
or a dying warrior flung across the horse
coming back to his grave betrayed by his own men.
been so long ago since you stopped
seeing these images, hearing those sounds
somebody has put a blanket on your heart
and thus the fire no longer burns.
you carry through the day
listless dreamless thoughtless blind
not seeing the doors lying in the shadows
doors, waiting for someone to open them
longing for that one touch on the knob.
but no. you cant see them
somebody has put a blanket on your heart...

insidious stream
washing down
the earth's cheek
with tears abound
chinar trees
lining up
the pregnant belly
of majestic hills
leaves whispering
the unsaid tale.
she rises once again
in the black of the night
walking on grass eroded
hoof, feet the culprit
amidst the maple leaves
she keeps on walking
with a steady gait
eyes shining bright
in the dark
looking out
for signs to confer
the presence of her beloved
the coward
who never showed up.
nowwith a heart
full of anticipation
she waits
waits at the very cliff
she jumped from..

a spell on me..

standing in the rain
parched
a smile
a look
from you
floods my heart
you push and pull me
while i lose my mind
somethings right
everythings wrong
the mirror smiles
cracks up
from the inside
into thousand pieces
each portraying
the fire inside
and
you fan the air
you 've put a spell on me...


abhinav

kashmir

Kashmir
once a heaven
always a hell
lavish saffron fields
emanating smoke
of communal hatred
once adorned by flowers
now nameless graves.
virginal streams
breaking through mountains
no longer carry
the Godblood
but remains
of dismanteled parts
once a human body
pasture fields
running full
of little boys,
high cheekbone
pink mask
shepherding the four-legged
now lay full
of landmines
occult landmines
unaware of their catch
music of bhand pather
flowing unheard
amidst
the soothing dose
of gunfire and bombs
promiscuous sprwal
of incubus army
raping women
raping women alive
raping women dying
raping women dead
raping dead women again.
empty streets
celebrating absence of
people gone underground
in safety of basements
people gone underground
in safety of their graves.
kashmir
once a heaven
always a hell
let me tell you
a secret
kashmir
turns into the heaven
it once was
in the safety
of the night
for that
i just need
to fix myself
another drink.

when raindrops get u thinking....

here i tried smthing new...juss an experimentation.



pitter patter pitter patter

thus came falling
the silvery raindrops
announcing their advent
stamping their presence
on that cipher of a day
things scrupulously going haywire

pitter patter pitter patter

took out my hand
absentmindedly
palm spread
wide open
gathering the juice
of bountiful skies

pitter patter pitter patter

to feel happy for the raindrops
adorning my palm
or to feel flustered
for the ones i couldn't catch
was a matter of perspective

pitter patter pitter patter

perspective
a strong catalyst
that leads you
to see the drops
or the moon
caught in them.

pitter patter pitter patter

a feast..

still tinkering further wid sufism, after 'a secret'....


A feast..

intangible memories
of your smile
flays off my thoughts
that puerile curve
at the end
of your lips
has become an enemy
of my peaceful sleep.
was it the figment
of my wild imagination
or an evanescent
divine prognostication
i see you coming
coming to me.
waited for this moment
i always had
now here i lay my soul
on the teak table
waiting for you
to feast on..

abhinav

the secret

well, here is my ode to the philosophy of sufism...


What is it
that you want to know
tell me my love
for yours i already am
In your heart
lies the secret key
to the door
of my soul
In your eyes
lie the mirror
for heart conceals
but the mirror does not
In your hair
waits the night
that sweeps me over
with passion fervid
On your lips
rest the name
of my God
my only soulmate
In your ears
roams the song
which so passionately
speaks of my longing
What is it
that you want
tell me my love
for yours i am already
You say you want me
if u leave your self
drop your existence
you'll become me, without me.

abhinav

a friend...

You were sad
You were down
Things got bad
You kept that frown
I ask you to smile
Before you do that
I find you’re gone
I ask you to take care
Coz sometimes I know
Life can be unfair
As long as blood
runs thru your veins
in between the pleasures
u will find the pains
who am I ? you ask me.
Had you looked
Beyond this dust
Of pain n mistrust
You would have seen
For all this while
What I had been.
For here I belong.
A friend all along....

abhinav

when loneliness bites...

Slowly he opened the door.
Picked up all the broken glass
Furniture on the floor.
It wasn’t long
Before it came again.
Her memories.
Her presence was writ everywhere.
Yet she was not there.
It was dark.
He lit up a candle.
The shadow on the wall
Seemed to mock him.
He saw her on the candle.
Dancing in the flame.
Hands outstretched,
he longed for her
Only to get burned once again.
He saw her in the water
Filled up in the glass.
He picked it up.
Put it to his lips.
Not strangely,
The water was sweet…

abhinav

the master..

here i stand alone
atop the cliff
looking out to the sky
right in the eye
trying to interpret
the omens, the signs
the ions in the air
that work together
in a subtle harmony
creating undercurrents
in my destiny
i take in a handful
of air
in my fist
fell the energy
pulsating
and take it
to my heart
a heart
that dreams
and therfore
make me
the master
of my own destiny..

abhinav

my oasis....

left alone
wandering in the desert
will i get my oasis
lips parched, skin burning
heart bleeding, thoughts leaving me
i see the miracle
which only turns out
to be a mirage
showing me my destiny.
with mind full of prognostications
i carry on with the chimera
for i know
the dunes change with wind
but the desert remains unchanged
my soul keeps reminding
that the darkest hour of night
comes just before the dawn.

abhinav

you are...

you are the sunshine
that smiles on my soul
crashing me, burning me
but making me whole

you are the rain
soaking me to the core
against the tide i swim
you helping me to the shore

you are the music
in my veins that beat
raising me to the crescendo
sweating me in your heat

you are the song
i wanna sing forever
leave u i might
forget you i wil never.

for you are..
my everything.

abhinav

do you remember....

do you remember.....

do you remember the days...
we used to live
across the bridge
grass was our abode
and crop-fields our playground.
do you remember the days..
i was nine and you were ten
we had our caves, we had our dens
the sun used to set
when our games used to end
do you remember the days...
in you i found my alter
we did good, we used to falter
drenched in the rains
we often raced our boats.
do u remember the days...
we used to sing aloud together
sunshine, rains, whatever be the weather
together we used to catch the butterflies
and dashed to the end of the rainbow
do you remember the days...
now i dont know where you are
what your calling is in life
but my heart longs for an answer
do u remember the days ???

call of the highway..

Call of the highway

Highway beckoned him
He got in his car
He had had enough
Enough of her absence.
Hitting the accelerator
He sped on.
He sensed an ecstasy
That always drugged him
To the cloud nine
Ecstasy – that is what
Her presence was like
In his veins.
He sped on.
The darkness goading him.
Moon being his constant companion.
Stars taking time out
To smile at the road ahead.
It started raining.
it always rained
When she was not there.
He sped on.
Then he saw her I
n the raindrop
On the windscreen.
A tiny drop
Slipping down sensuously
That reminded him
Of her uninhibited moves.
With that, He sped on.....

abhinav

kaaya's world - a short story

Her heart skipped a beat. It always did the moment her tiny feet touched the sand. It happened unfailingly every time she stepped on the beach. The feeling of warm sand, tickling her toes, the sinking of her feet, while her heart soared…life was a fairytale when she was on the beach.
The sun was caustic. Her eyes looked over the horizon, searching for her favorite spot on the beach. There it lay, secluded from the crowd – her spot, her own space in the world. She ran towards her spot, her feet naked on the sand, arms stretched wide open to gather as much light as she can in her heart, her hair playing with the mischievous wind. She ran.
There she was. She sat down, took a deep breadth, and filled her tiny fist with the sand. It was wet yet warm, just like yesterday. She gathered as much sand as she could around her.
After about an hour of indulgence, she noticed beads of perspiration on her brow. She looked up. It was getting dark. She began moving her hands feverishly, giving shape to the shapeless sand.
There it was at last, her castle. There it stood majestically gleaming in the light of the dying sun. With an outstretched trembling finger, she wrote her name on it. KAAYA. So that anybody who looked at it could make out it was KAAYA’s abode.
But, she had no illusions about it. She knew that her abode would wash away with any incoming wave, at any moment. But did she care about that wave? She was only too happy to have her castle erected.
With a content heart she stood up to leave, fully knowing that it will not be there tomorrow. She went away, without looking back, to return tomorrow, for she knew she had a castle to be made…

abhinav

black night

Can’t face it anymore.
I revv up d engine
Wanting to get away.
The loneliness was killing me.
Atleast the machine soothes me.
In d din of d engine
Silence can no longer mock me.
I speed on.
The wind comforts me.
Airs the damp in my heart.
Darkness too plays its part
Throwing light ahead.
Your memories are relentless though
Chasing me down the highway.
But I speed on.
Wanting to get away
To the other side of the night.

abhinav

3 A.M.

continuing wid d oder side of d story of 2 A.M.........

its 3 A.M. in the morning
hes out somewhere,
out of her life
shes home watching the candle
its flame dancing in the dark
never been the praying kind
lately she had been down upon her knees
praying for something to happen
something that would tell her
not everythings lost now.
with every stroke of lightning
her eyes shone in the mirror
eyes so used to his presence
that she felt blinded by the moment.
she closed her eyes
so that she could see him
see him coming back to her....

abhinav

2 A.M.

Its 2 A.M. in the morning
You ‘re home sleeping in your bed
And am out on the streets
Under the drugged skies
Standing in the rain
Holding my candle
Which ain’t giving light anymore
I know you had your reasons
Which were hard to comprehend
You took your own path
Leaving me behind on ours.
I guess it comes easy to you
Leaving when you r almost there
We were on the highway baby
On the highway to hell
It ain’t much fun dying
But I gotta die tonight
‘coz I ‘ve gunned down romance
It never did a thing for me…....

abhinav