indifferent to sadness

its barely twilight
and she has to go to bed
she looks into her mama's eyes
blue crystals overshadowed
with fear and trepidition
eyes that have seen a lot
massacres and murders
eyes that will never ever be the same again
thunderstroms rain outside
the air is humid and stale
her father's absence looming large
the sheep are crying outside
she guesses 'its the rain'
but it may be gun shots
thats scaring them
she is sad
she has no friends
all are dead by now
the village is deserted
but for the smoked huts
lying there scattered
but for the bloodied limbs
no two of which is distinguishable
she is sad
Grandma keeps mumbling
talking about the past
about a village
that once resonated with laughter
where safron meant gold
people had food to eat
she is hungry
yes, she is sad too
but it doesnt bother her, i guess
for she is used to living dead...

it never rained...

seven dreams and a memory
countless winter nights
spent feeding the fire
still remember your face
emanating charm from across
secrets sewn in your heart
you held a lifeline in your hands
but you chose to throw it away
hollow promises, two summers later
a fateful night this.
you look weak. defeated.
still searching for your rainbow
but not willing to live with the rain
may be i should let you know
it never rained after that winter night...

sometimes
the fairy dances on the flame
as i stand mesmerised
while the planet goes out of orbit
as your memories whirl past my being
again am refusing to let go of you
the flickering flame
plays hookey with my senses
the flashback pulls me down to a corner
as you smile in the shadow on the wall
as i try to find the strings
with which you push and pull me
the shadows on the wall
keep crawling to the forefront
will to pounce on the soul unsated
as the candle burns itself down...

under the burning umbrellas...

the fish bowl is empty
paintings going black n white
rickety table
screams in the corner
my worlds been rocked
shaken and stirred
i wasn't the kind
but just couldnt know
when i grew addicted
you being my poison
a thresholds been crossed
the voilet blood stains
announce the verdict
as i twist and turn
in this cage of steel
deceiving myself
into believing
the penance is over
now
am crawling in the dark
for the lights to free me
the inferno chasing me down
with the virgin truth
to which you hold the key
i keep crawling on
as the moonlight fades
another night
gone to the butchers
now here i am
with a pounding heart
standing once again
under the burning umbrellas...

strange realities

here i am
on the roads
that time of the day
twilight
sky trying to bed the sun
farcical rain
working hard
trying to drench
a heart parched

shovel

strange people
keep walking by
the plethora of humanity
gets overwhelming
right up to the brim
just when a drop
makes up its mind
to get over the brim

shovel

among the nameless faces
one catches my eye
you look strangely serene
walking with elegant poise
the chains dragging behind
kohl lining up the cheeks
the dagger shines bright

shovel

my thoughts betray me
bring me to my knees
as i plead

shovel
shovel
shovel

i hear
people shoveling mud
as i rest in peace....

shovel shovel

innocence nullified

maroon ball
bouncing happy
goes past the unseen.
barbed wire.
bruised and battered
tiny feet
on its tail.
a gun gets thrust
full on the chest
dreams get shattered
future pilot, doctor or engineer
now labelled as an infiltrator
across the sight
flashes the sadistic heaven
a bricklayered jail.
a soul gets throttled
body black n blue
incubus jailor
on work at night
piercing the innocence
injecting venom
in a heart gone cold
time creepsby
the feet grow in size.
a hatred well-fed
sees the bright light.
out of the bricklayered jail
into the old world
but no longer the same
a world, now black n white.
the moment arrives
rough hands
feeling the cold RDX
wondering at the gelatine stick.
the hatred goes to work
newspaper headlines scream
a city gets bombed...

toy soldiers...

toy soldiers
marching off
to battles unknown
the voodoo doll
lets out a whimper
you've been sleeping
all this while
lying beyond the boundary.
the wheels are rolling
as the time sleepwalks
coarse lines get drawn
criss-crossing each other
battlefield's burning
under the cold november skies
the thunder, the gunshots
and explosions on the ground
strange symphony's playing in the air
you have been sleeping
with your eyes open
all this while
lying beyond the boundary
the toy soldiers
fall off the cliff
as the tide takes your dreams away...

mystic night

once again
am out on the streets
trying to hear
what the stars are crying out
deciphering the whispers
of the indolent moon
rhapsodies plunging
deep into the darkness
working their magic
it slowly seeps through
the arid heart
back of my neck
i feel a tingle
theres something in the air
prognostications
a sparkling energy
giving way
to the secret
letting me know
you are coming to me...

hysteria

scream
revv up your lungs
nobody's listening
as i stubthe cigarette
on your arm
leaving more than a mark
cry out
suffer the sadistic streak
as i put the knife
cold
against your skin
drawing out the blood
habitat under siege
swear
the words come out
tumbling
unsure of themselves
having lost their meaning
the previous moon
spit
more than your ego
as you twist and turn
under my boot. dirty.
you cant get free
sweat
as you fear the outcome
the never ending battle
between the right
and the other right
scream
revvup ur lungs
you dont give up
do you..
a tough nut
let me set you free
i'll break the mirror.

at the crossroads....

give it to me
Gasoline
want to feel the fuel
enter my veins
encapsule the entropy
in the hollow of my fist
As i look out
a cloud rises
uncertain. dark undertones
flashes a glimpse
of things to come by.
and the cigar whimpers down
to what i will be some day
Ash. lifeless. smoky
Breaking the ignomity
of suffering and ignorance
a soul screams.
shrill. sudden.
knocking the senses out.
the glass breaks
a heart thrives.
and here i am
standing at the crossroads
unsure whether to look behind
the epic of destruction
tails me.
Unforgiven.

what have you become .....

here you are
standing soaked in the rain
trying to preserve your soul
not realising its already been flooded
flooded with empty promises, dreams
that once sparked a revolution
between the heart and the soul
none emerging the winner.
you look away to the horizon
tell me what you see.
do you see the winning soldier
at the end of the day retreating into the sky
or a dying warrior flung across the horse
coming back to his grave betrayed by his own men.
been so long ago since you stopped
seeing these images, hearing those sounds
somebody has put a blanket on your heart
and thus the fire no longer burns.
you carry through the day
listless dreamless thoughtless blind
not seeing the doors lying in the shadows
doors, waiting for someone to open them
longing for that one touch on the knob.
but no. you cant see them
somebody has put a blanket on your heart...

insidious stream
washing down
the earth's cheek
with tears abound
chinar trees
lining up
the pregnant belly
of majestic hills
leaves whispering
the unsaid tale.
she rises once again
in the black of the night
walking on grass eroded
hoof, feet the culprit
amidst the maple leaves
she keeps on walking
with a steady gait
eyes shining bright
in the dark
looking out
for signs to confer
the presence of her beloved
the coward
who never showed up.
nowwith a heart
full of anticipation
she waits
waits at the very cliff
she jumped from..

a spell on me..

standing in the rain
parched
a smile
a look
from you
floods my heart
you push and pull me
while i lose my mind
somethings right
everythings wrong
the mirror smiles
cracks up
from the inside
into thousand pieces
each portraying
the fire inside
and
you fan the air
you 've put a spell on me...


abhinav

kashmir

Kashmir
once a heaven
always a hell
lavish saffron fields
emanating smoke
of communal hatred
once adorned by flowers
now nameless graves.
virginal streams
breaking through mountains
no longer carry
the Godblood
but remains
of dismanteled parts
once a human body
pasture fields
running full
of little boys,
high cheekbone
pink mask
shepherding the four-legged
now lay full
of landmines
occult landmines
unaware of their catch
music of bhand pather
flowing unheard
amidst
the soothing dose
of gunfire and bombs
promiscuous sprwal
of incubus army
raping women
raping women alive
raping women dying
raping women dead
raping dead women again.
empty streets
celebrating absence of
people gone underground
in safety of basements
people gone underground
in safety of their graves.
kashmir
once a heaven
always a hell
let me tell you
a secret
kashmir
turns into the heaven
it once was
in the safety
of the night
for that
i just need
to fix myself
another drink.

when raindrops get u thinking....

here i tried smthing new...juss an experimentation.



pitter patter pitter patter

thus came falling
the silvery raindrops
announcing their advent
stamping their presence
on that cipher of a day
things scrupulously going haywire

pitter patter pitter patter

took out my hand
absentmindedly
palm spread
wide open
gathering the juice
of bountiful skies

pitter patter pitter patter

to feel happy for the raindrops
adorning my palm
or to feel flustered
for the ones i couldn't catch
was a matter of perspective

pitter patter pitter patter

perspective
a strong catalyst
that leads you
to see the drops
or the moon
caught in them.

pitter patter pitter patter

a feast..

still tinkering further wid sufism, after 'a secret'....


A feast..

intangible memories
of your smile
flays off my thoughts
that puerile curve
at the end
of your lips
has become an enemy
of my peaceful sleep.
was it the figment
of my wild imagination
or an evanescent
divine prognostication
i see you coming
coming to me.
waited for this moment
i always had
now here i lay my soul
on the teak table
waiting for you
to feast on..

abhinav

the secret

well, here is my ode to the philosophy of sufism...


What is it
that you want to know
tell me my love
for yours i already am
In your heart
lies the secret key
to the door
of my soul
In your eyes
lie the mirror
for heart conceals
but the mirror does not
In your hair
waits the night
that sweeps me over
with passion fervid
On your lips
rest the name
of my God
my only soulmate
In your ears
roams the song
which so passionately
speaks of my longing
What is it
that you want
tell me my love
for yours i am already
You say you want me
if u leave your self
drop your existence
you'll become me, without me.

abhinav

a friend...

You were sad
You were down
Things got bad
You kept that frown
I ask you to smile
Before you do that
I find you’re gone
I ask you to take care
Coz sometimes I know
Life can be unfair
As long as blood
runs thru your veins
in between the pleasures
u will find the pains
who am I ? you ask me.
Had you looked
Beyond this dust
Of pain n mistrust
You would have seen
For all this while
What I had been.
For here I belong.
A friend all along....

abhinav

when loneliness bites...

Slowly he opened the door.
Picked up all the broken glass
Furniture on the floor.
It wasn’t long
Before it came again.
Her memories.
Her presence was writ everywhere.
Yet she was not there.
It was dark.
He lit up a candle.
The shadow on the wall
Seemed to mock him.
He saw her on the candle.
Dancing in the flame.
Hands outstretched,
he longed for her
Only to get burned once again.
He saw her in the water
Filled up in the glass.
He picked it up.
Put it to his lips.
Not strangely,
The water was sweet…

abhinav

the master..

here i stand alone
atop the cliff
looking out to the sky
right in the eye
trying to interpret
the omens, the signs
the ions in the air
that work together
in a subtle harmony
creating undercurrents
in my destiny
i take in a handful
of air
in my fist
fell the energy
pulsating
and take it
to my heart
a heart
that dreams
and therfore
make me
the master
of my own destiny..

abhinav